It’s Okay To Be A Selfish Mom

It's Okay to be a Selfish Mom

Hello, Sunshine! I have something I need to confess and something I need to work on. I’m a selfish mom, but not selfish enough. My kids are my everything, but there’s a girl beneath the title of mom and she has needs too. Gisele Bundchen recently confessed that she’s a selfish mom and the sanctimommies attacked her. Why? What did Gisele say that was so offense?

In an interview for The Sunday Times Gisele said, “You know how they say on the plane you have to put the oxygen mask on first and then put it on your child? So I think it is the same, as a mum, to take care of myself.”

Oh no she didn’t.

In case that wasn’t controversial enough she said, “You can feel a bit guilty, but if I put my oxygen mask on first, if I’m feeling fulfilled and present and good about myself, then I’m going to be a much more patient, loving, understanding mother and wife. You have to fill your glass so that everyone can drink from it. That’s how I feel.”

Yikes! Someone take her kids away. NOW!

So is Gisele a selfish mom? I don’t think so. If more moms were honest, we’d all wish we were a little more selfish. Being a mama is draining emotionally, mentally and physically. JD jokes that one day he’s going to come home and find me hiding in the closet rocking myself. I have three kids and there are some days that I need a do over. And I don’t want do overs, I want to live and enjoy every moment I’ve been given.

 

Coffee Daily

So what makes me selfish?

Hot Coffee and Meals – My family doesn’t eat cold meals. Why should I? I make adjustments to make sure my coffee is hot everyday and that I get to enjoy five minutes of peace each morning. As soon as one kid wakes up the non-stop mom calling begins, so it’s important that I get at least five minutes of peace each day.

Shower Daily – I have to shower at night, but at least I’m showering daily. I’ve heard from so many moms that they don’t get to shower daily. I couldn’t handle that. Unless I’m camping in the middle of nowhere, this girl is clean.

Wear Real Clothes Every Day – It’s so easy to not put on real clothes daily. If you’re a stay-at-home or work from home mama it can seem like a waste of time and money to dress yourself in real clothes, but it’s worth it. There are days that I’m not going anywhere important but I make sure that I have on real clothes. I love my workout clothes as much as the next girl, but unless I’m headed to, at or leaving the gym, there’s no need for me to be seen in my yoga pants and shirt.

Stick to a Beauty Routine – I have discovered a skin care line that I love. I want to take care of and appreciate the skin I’ve been given. I want my daughters and son to see how important to is take of yourself with simple things like great hygiene. It’s a win-win for everyone.

 

Making Time

How Can I be More Selfish?

Workout – I have been so busy lately that I haven’t had time dedicated to seriously workout. I try to sneak in a quick routine when I can, but my body, health and mind need me to workout and take care of myself. And guess what? My kids need me to take care of myself too.

Alone Time – There are few times that I go anywhere by myself. Sure JD has a two-hour commute daily, but it’s alone time to listen to whatever he wants to on the radio. It’s time to unleash his mind and push away any negativity that may try to fill his mind. My mind likes to come alive at 3:00 a.m. when everyone else is sound asleep. A few moments alone to meditate and push away the negativity would be amazing!

Friends – Between work, the kids schedules and trying to take care of everyone else’s needs, I don’t have time to spend with my friends or make new ones. I’m a social creature by nature and seclusion is dangerous to my mental well-being. I don’t like to be lonely.

Give My Kids More Responsibility In Their Lives – They’re capable creatures of doing more than they currently do. Messes drive me crazy! I can’t handle seeing stuff thrown everywhere. Holding them responsible for taking care of our home and meeting their own needs will make them better human beings and remove the stress of me feeling like I need to do everything by myself. I deal with far too many adults who can’t do anything by themselves and are flat-out irresponsible. I refuse to allow my kids to be like that. It’s no way to live or enjoy life.

Instead of wishing for a time out, this mama is going to make sure she puts her needs first. Meeting my needs will make me a better mama, wife, friend and overall human being.

Are you a selfish mom?

What makes you selfish?

 

16 Comments

  • Mrs. AOK says:

    I need to be a little more selfish, I’m such a mommy-guilt victim… I hate it. I am starting to become a little less guilty…. little.
    I think it’s great that you take time to do things for you, it’s healthy and good for the kiddos.
    Wishing you a beautiful week, sweet lady!
    XOXO
    Mrs. AOK recently posted..Comment on Thank You Notes {1} by LaKitaMy Profile

  • Oh Chastity, I loved this post! So true what you say about making you a happy mama when you get to put some of your needs first. Moms have the toughest job and it’s nice to be able to take some time for ourselves. Totally agree to the hot meals and showering and all that good stuff 🙂 I am learning to be a little bit more selfish after our second because I’ve realized that it will make me a better mom and wife too 🙂 Loved this motivating post and hope you have a great rest of the week! xo
    Kelly – Life Made Sweeter recently posted..Stuffed Almond Joy Energy BitesMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      I’m so happy you liked it, Kelly. It’s taken me three kids to realize how sad I’ve become because I keep forgetting about me. Mama guilt is the worst and we need to push it away. I hope you have a beautiful, wonderful, rewarding week! xoxo

  • Stephanie says:

    I do most of those too (I don’t workout but that’s health related). I’ve always been lucky that I have family close by that helps out, and it’s admittedly easier to take care of myself with only one child. I couldn’t handle more than one, and I know it. My husband always says, “Do you what you need to do for you,” and that’s important for all of us to remember.
    Stephanie recently posted..Hedgehogs Make Great PetsMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      My husband is very supportive and he noticed I was becoming sad because I wasn’t taking care of me. Balancing life with three kids, a husband and a full-time job is difficult, but I want to make the most of it. I’m happy to hear that you have great family support nearby.

  • Audrey says:

    My MIL (5 kids) and her BFF (6 kids) used to go to “therapy” one night a week. They’d meet at a coffee shop for an hour or so and come back ready to face the rest of the week.

    My girlfriends and I try to do that, but this school year has seemed much more chaotic so we haven’t gotten together in over a month. I really need that time. Going to set up a date right now.
    Audrey recently posted..Curried Turnip Greens – Tasty Tuesdays Link UpMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      That’s a great idea! I don’t know why we as mamas forget to make time for ourselves and be social. I need to schedule a “therapy” session. 😉

  • Lisa Nelson says:

    I workout everyday and have no doubts about it. It’s my time. Plus, for my kids to see me working out and making better food choices, it shows them that it should be an important part of their lives. And it should in a country that is getting fatter and sicker.

    I watch programs on TV that I like, not in the middle of the night, but once or twice during the day.

    I take time to take a really hot shower.

    I take time to lay down when I need to.

    When we go out to eat, we all get our choice of food. If I want something, I will take the time to go get it, rather than just choosing their choice.

    and by the way, I don’t think I’m selfish.
    Lisa Nelson recently posted..Christmas Toy Review: The Amazing Zhus – Magically Finding their way into Your Child’s WorldMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Exactly! Meeting our own needs and dreams does not make us selfish. It’s amazing how women attacked Gisele for her comments. Enough is enough!

  • Vanessa says:

    Everything you said is so true! I’m over the mothers of our generation acting like martyrs all the time. I definitely do all the “selfish” things you mentioned, but I also would like to make more time for exercise. It’s exhausting trying to figure out how to take care of yourself…
    Vanessa recently posted..Snapshots • Link RoundupMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Ugh, the martyrs! I don’t want to be one, I just want to live and enjoy life! I’m working on improving my selfish game. 😉

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