When I go to the gym, it’s me time. I’m hoping to have 30 to 45 minutes to better myself and the last thing I want to deal with is rude, uncivilized adults who need a few simple gym etiquette tips. You don’t want to be that person at the gym that everyone can’t wait for them to leave.
- You Don’t Own the Gym Equipment – Yay, the squat rack’s available! I’m so excited that the bros aren’t standing in it checking themselves out. I make my to the center of the rack and do a few quick simple stretches when out of nowhere, Richard Simmons’ bald look-alike comes running over. “Get off, get off. I’m using it! Don’t you see my gym bag against the mirror on the other side of the machine?” Okay dude. First off, it’s not a machine. Secondly, throwing your gym bag against a wall near a machine doesn’t mean you’re actually using it. If you were actually using the squat rack I would see you and your shorty shorts squatting away. Instead, you were on the other side of the gym doing curls. If you place your items near a machine or weight it doesn’t mean these items automatically belong to you. If this worked in real life I’d park my car in the driveway of a sweet beach house and when the owner arrived I’d say, “Get away, get away! Don’t you see my car in the driveway? This is my house.” If you’re not actively using the equipment, you are not using the machine/weight.
- Your Personal Conversations Should Remain Personal – 8, 9 … “Yeah man! I drank a s–t load last night. I’m lucky I strolled in here this morning.” Captain upper body, I’m so happy you partied like a rock star last night. Really, I am. I remember being 40, oh wait, I’m not near 40, and bragging to my bro about my partying last night. It’s cool that you have a workout buddy, but there’s no need for you to stand in front of, behind or beside me and have a loud, obnoxious conversation loaded with f bombs. And to the guy who’s closing “a big f-ing deal” on the phone while doing leg curls, take your big deal conversation to parking lot. I’m on the machine next to you laughing away at the thought of no one being on the other side of the conversation. I’m not chatting with my girlfriends next to you while you’re bench pressing discussing lady issues, so please have the same courtesy for me.
- It’s a Locker Room, Not a Gas Station Restroom – Ladies, you’d be mortified if your man or children treated the bathroom in your home the same way you misuse the gym locker room. Please, please flush the toilet. It’s nasty that you don’t flush and it’s really not that hard to do. I successfully flush the toilet with my shoe so I don’t have to touch the handle. If you’ve used the toilet wash your hands with soap before exiting the restroom. Everyone pays attention to the nasty girl who refuses to wash her hands after using the facilities. That’s nasty and I make sure I stay far, far away from you. It’s also not cool that you leave hair (gag me now) all over the counters along with your empty bottles of hairspray. The trash is located in that magic hole cut into the countertops. Simply push your hair and trash into the hole and it disappears into the trash. Voila!
I really value my time at the gym. It’s one of the rare moments in the day where I can focus on my needs and not chase or reprimand a child. So please, adults, have the same courtesy towards your fellow fitness buffs as we have shown to you.
Do you have any friendly tips you’d like to share with fellow gym buddies? What’s your biggest pet peeve at the gym?
