7 Reasons Why My Marriage is Successful

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! 

My husband and I have an amazing marriage. We have been through a lot in the seven years we’ve been married and the almost 10 years we’ve been a couple. We’ve been blessed with three wonderful children, but things haven’t always been easy. We lost our home during the great recession, lived on $67 a month for two months as a family of four while job searching, but our love never failed. Maybe it’s because we’ve survived truly difficult times that we have a strong marriage.

7 Reasons Why My Marriage is Successful

We Don’t Try to Change the Other Person: Sounds simple, right? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard girlfriends say, “my husband would be perfect if I could change ____ about him.” Or listened to friends who would like to “fix” something they don’t like about their spouses.  Remember, you chose your spouse and he or she is not a pet project for you to perfect. Of course there are things about my husband that drive me crazy, but these traits make him who he is and I love the total package.

Honesty: I have a hard time with honesty not because I’m a liar, but because I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. If my husband says or does something that upsets me, I need to tell him so I don’t hold a grudge against him for something he doesn’t even know he did. Your spouse is only human and it’s unfair to have unrealistic expectations for him or her. My husband can’t read my mind, but I’m pretty sure I can read his.

Apologize: After you say or do something you regret, own up to your mistake and say, “I’m sorry.” Kiss, make up and move on.

Ask for Help: Being a mother of three is physically and emotionally draining. There are days I wish my kids would send me to timeout so I could gather my thoughts. Instead of throwing a tantrum and waiting for my punishment, I ask my husband to watch to the kids so I can have a few minutes to myself. The few minutes of freedom I have completely change my outlook and allows me to be a better person, mother and wife.

We Make Each Other Laugh: My husband asked me if I would rather have cute or funny in a spouse? Hands down I’d rather have funny, but I’m lucky because he’s handsome and hilarious. We’re always making each other laugh and laughing at the craziness in everyday life. Our marriage wouldn’t survive without laughter and neither would we.

Have Fun: Life’s too short to be serious all of the time. Work time is meant to be serious, couple time should be fun! My husband and I like to challenge each other to game of basketball (challenge each other at anything), but one of our favorite activities is going to concerts. We both love music and we have so much fun bonding over awful singing heard at concerts. We really enjoy our time together.

Love Unconditionally: Yes, love unconditionally! I love my husband even though he falls asleep before me and his snoring keeps me wide awake. I love him even though he eats all the brownies I make before I can eat one. I love him because he eats all the Nutella and puts the empty jar back in the pantry. I love my husband because he works hard to provide for his family. I love my husband because he is a doting, remarkable, loving father. I love my husband because he loves me.

What qualities makes your marriage successful?

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.”  You can grab a copy HERE.

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  • Karla says:

    This is great! All of the above make a solid marriage, thank you for the gentle reminder 🙂
    Karla recently posted..Welcome!My Profile

  • I love this post. It’s nice to know there are other happy couples out there. Truly happy.
    Deauna @ Honesty’s Protégée recently posted..Cinnamon Baking ChipsMy Profile

  • Fawn Weaver says:

    Oh, this is FANTASTIC! Love this post, Chastity! So beautiful. And thank you for joining the blog tour. <3
    Fawn Weaver recently posted..8 Tips to Becoming a Happy WifeMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Thank you, Fawn, for asking me to participate in this wonderful event. I wish you the best and I’ve told everyone to buy your book!

  • Kelly says:

    What a beautiful post Chastity! Such great tips and reminders for keys to a successful marriage – I loved reading this:)

    • Chastity says:

      Thank you, Kelly. I think when you boil it all down, it is quite simple or maybe it’s because I don’t like to over complicate things. 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful week!

  • Hi Chastity – stopping by from the SITS challenge to say Hi and look around. Loved this posts — these are all essential to a healthy, happy relationship along with a big dose of appreciation! (That’s my failing — especially when I am stressed and in a hurry!) Looking forward to seeing more great posts!
    Charlene@A Pinch of Joy recently posted..Busy Monday 97My Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Charlene, I completely agree! We should all appreciate our spouses. I also think it is important to teach our children appreciation!

  • Sounds like you really do have a solid relationship! My husband and I don’t have any kids (yet), so I can’t imagine how much different it would be with one, much less three. I agree with you on the laughter- if you’ve got someone who doesn’t take himself or life too seriously, that makes everything else so much easier.
    Christy@SweetandSavoring recently posted..Travel Retrospective: Remembering ViennaMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Christy, I try really hard to laugh at whatever life may throw my way. I’m so happy I found someone who always makes me smile.

  • Gina H says:

    My husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary back in Nov. I think most people forgot that marriage is work. You have to constantly work at it for it to be successful and you have such great tips. Apologizing is the one I often have to work at doing =)

    • Chastity says:

      Congratulations, Gina! 20 years is amazing. I wholeheartedly agree that having a solid, long-lasting marriage takes work from both spouses. Each one has to give 100%!

  • Hi Chastity, I’m part of the SITS Tribe. Enjoyed this post the 7 points are very good and I would say in my 36 years of marriage that they still apply.
    God Bless
    Sandra @ Sandra’s Ark recently posted..Why We Worship 3My Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Thank you, Sandra. I love hearing of all these long, successful, loving marriages! 36 years together is wonderful!

  • Tara Newman says:

    Hi Chastity – I agree with all of yours. Communication is huge. I know this sounds cliche but I also think if you love something, set it free. It took me a bit to figure out that I had to give my husband the freedom to be him. And my happiness doesn’t come at the expense of his. I just recently wrote a series on being a more supportive spouse. We have a lot of common ground. Great post.
    Tara Newman recently posted..Simple Steps for Creating Vision and Purpose in Your LifeMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Tara, those are all great points. I think when we try to control someone else it shows a lack of confidence within ourselves. If we are truly happy with who we are, then we can enjoy and appreciate those we have in our lives. Thank you for the great comment!

  • I have the hardest time asking for help…. That’s what probably annoys my husband the most.
    Thank you for some of these reminders. Marriage is wonderful hard work, we never want to take each other or our love for granted.
    Debbie @ Heartbeats Soul Stains recently posted..Happy Birthday Derek, Happy Birthday Dr. King!My Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Debbie, I had the hardest time asking for help. I ended-up becoming bitter and angry at my husband and he had no idea why. Now, I make sure I ask for help and the stress is lifted off of my shoulders.

  • katie says:

    Hi Chastity, This is great. We’ve been married for 4 and together 7 (no kids, but 2 miscarriages…we are still working on it). I definitely agree with this advice! Laughter is huge for us. He drives me crazy but makes me laugh so hard. Another thing I would add is keep short accounts – forgive, forgive, forgive…keep no record of wrongs. That definitely has helped us! Thanks for sharing! Coming by for Wine’d Down Wed! 🙂
    katie recently posted..All Quiet on the Fertility FrontMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Kaite – I love it! Keeping records is like keeping score. Are you playing as individuals or as a team? I wish you the best on your fertility adventure. I hope you have success soon!

  • Jen says:

    I love this post! I think you’re right about the asking for help tip. That is definitely one of the hardest for me. I feel like asking for help because I’m overwhelmed or frustrated with the kids makes me look weak or like a bad mother. I know my husband knows better than that, but it’s certainly been something I’ve had to work on. Thanks for the great post!
    Jen recently posted..Wine’d Down Wednesday Link-Up!My Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Jen, I felt the same way about asking for help. I guess there are all these “super moms” who don’t need help, but I do! I’m so happy when I ask for help and get it. Mama needs her time too! Thank you for co-hosting with us!

  • Ligia says:

    Hello! I’m Ligia from Guatemala. I´m very new at this marrying topic. I just got married 2 months ago, and I love it! I know it’s not very much compared to other wives, but I’m definitely convinced that marriage is great! Thank you very much for sharing your reasons of a succesful marriage. I would also like to add a couple more: 1) Choose Love, even if there are things you don’t like about your husband, or you experience hard situations with him, ALWAYS Choose Love, because if is love what you choose, then you would do things with more tranquility and wisdom. 2) Pray together. For us praying together has given us so much strenght and has brought even much closer with each other, and of course in our relationship with God. Have a great week! And keep on spreading the word that Happy Marriages are possible!

    • Chastity says:

      Ligia, Congratulations on your wedding! Yes, we should always choose to love and a couple that prays together, stays together. I wish you a lifetime of happiness!

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