I’m Not Superwoman and That’s Okay

I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Because the sad truth is that I put myself last. I woke-up this morning determined to place a priority on me and my needs and that’s scary to admit.

For the past nine years I’ve been busy taking care of little babies who’ve needed and depended on me completely. I’ve loved and treasured every moment of it, but throughout these past years I’ve forgotten about me and that breaks my heart.

As a mother it is so easy to forget about ourselves and our needs. Too often we’re told it’s wrong to meet mommy’s needs, because we’re being selfish or what not. And then there’s Pinterest offering millions of pins “helping” to make sure we are the perfect Stepford wife and mother. It’s overwhelming when you think about it.

This isn’t meant to be a whiny post (in case it comes off that way), but rather a self-awareness post.

So I’d like you to know. . .

I'm Not Superwoman And That's Okay Today I’m making changes to make sure my needs are met and I’m not lost in the busyness of everyday life.

  • I’m going to make sure I sit down and eat my meals everyday. Too often I’m eating on the run while running my children to school or their activities. Or my toddler is extra clingy and wants me to hold her non-stop and I can’t make a proper meal for myself.
  • I need to go to the gym and have 30 minutes to better myself and take care of my health. My toddler isn’t a big fan of the kid play area, but I’m hoping she grows out of it sooner than later.
  • My clients need to understand what is considered an emergency and what is just a request. I need to set a certain time they can reach me and avoid checking on their wants at the end of the night.
  • It’s okay for me to hire a housekeeper to deep clean my house once a quarter. Between balancing work, taking care of my kids, husband and dog,  there’s not enough time in the day for me to really clean out the nooks and crannies that accumulate so much debris.
  • If I need a massage, it’s a great idea for me to go ahead and schedule one. Releasing any tension and stress I have makes me a better mother, wife, person.
  • I need adult interaction that doesn’t involve my clients. If I want to have lunch with a girlfriend without the kids it is okay. They have time with their friends and I should too!

I’m sure there are other things I could add to the list, but these are really basic needs I can and should meet.

I’m not the perfect homemaker, mother, wife or person (nor do I want to be), and I’m not Superwoman and that’s okay!

Do you feel overwhelmed with busyness or feel like you’ve forgotten about you and your needs?

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!

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This post was feature on The Blogger’s Digest! Thank you for the honor, Jess!

18 Comments

  • Kelly says:

    What a great post Chastity 🙂 It’s so true that moms usually put themselves last and have such a long list of expectations by others.
    I think you are amazing for sharing that it’s okay to not have everything done perfectly and to take time for ourselves. You ARE a superwoman for sharing this and for being the best mom to your kids that you can be and not what others think a superwoman should be 🙂 xo

    • Chastity says:

      Awe, thank you Kelly! I’m not a selfish person in anyway so it’s hard for me to say, “Enough, I need some me time!” I hope all is well with your beautiful family! xo

  • Carla says:

    I do think this has gotten worse with blogs and Pinterest always putting ideas in our heads as to how we should be. I think mothers have it worse now because it’s coming from so many different directions. Take the time because in the end it will bring you closer to being Superwoman/Supermom. Plus taking the time to take care of yourself means that you’ll have more time in terms of years with the kids.
    Carla recently posted..Jessica Shares How to Lose Over 100 PoundsMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      I agree! I’ll never be a Pinterest superstar, but I’ll always be my kids’ mama and I want to be the best mama for them!

  • This is awesome, Chastity. I loved it. Thank you so much for reminding us that we are WORTH our own time! I totally, like you, can get bogged down by obligations — we need special and carved out alone time/friends time/date time. It is so essential to our well-being as women and as mothers. Your list is awesome, and I truly hope that you can conquer them one by one! So glad I clicked over from Wine’d down 🙂 ~Jenna // A Mama Collective
    Jenna // A Mama Collective recently posted..Authentic Motherhood :: Thrive MomsMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Thank you, Jenna! I’m making it a goal for setting aside a few “me” minutes every week. It’s so sad that mama’s feel guilty about taking any time to meet their needs.

  • Melanie says:

    Yes, yes, yes. I think I should schedule a massage myself. 😉

    Thanks for the encouragement to take care of myself, even as I take care of others.
    Melanie recently posted..The Terrible Inevitable and Every Moment Before – My Messy BeautifulMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Melanie, I’m beyond ready for a massage! I know I’m a better person when I take care of myself, I simply need to let go of the guilt associated with it. I hope you have a beautiful day!

  • Justine says:

    Love this! EVERY woman needs to be reminded of this, mother or not, but especially mothers! Thank you!

    • Chastity says:

      Yes, Justine! Every woman needs to know she is valuable and her needs are just as important as her partner and/or children’s needs! I hope you have a fantastic week.

  • Completely! Being a single mom to a 9 and 12 year old, I am completely and utterly consumed with their lives. I really wouldn’t have it any other way but you’re right, somewhere, somehow I have got to make some time for me… thanks for the reminder! 🙂
    Erin @ She’s a big star recently posted..Having My Shit Together – My Messy BeautifulMy Profile

    • Chastity says:

      Erin, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be a single parent. God Bless You! I hope you have a great support system that helps you in your goal of meeting your needs.

      Sidenote- Did you know Banana Joe’s Bar isn’t around anymore? We were in Nashville in December looking for it and it was closed.

      Have a great week!

  • Kathleen says:

    Me time, what a concept! I always said I’d have time for me when my boys were grown. Well, my boys are grown and now I am my mother’s caregiver and the concept of me time is just as hard as it ever was.

    Making “me time” a priority is on my to do list. Think I’ll bump it to the top!

    • Chastity says:

      Kathleen, I thought the same way too! I’m now watching my mother take care of my grandmother and I want her to do something for herself, but she says she’d feel guilty if she did. That breaks my heart that she would feel guilty about “me time” for once. I know I am a better mother and person if I take care of myself.

  • Anne Marie says:

    YES! This is something I have struggled with for years. I feel so selfish just for wanting time to myself, but I am very defensive when my kids want time to themselves! WTF I am starting to get better at it, but I’m not quite there yet!

    • Chastity says:

      It’s something I’m constantly working on. It only makes me a better mother! xo

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